There was a time, back before I joined Starfleet that I enjoyed playing Humans and Klingons. I was a small boy at that time and all my friends and assorted cousins would fight over who would be the Klingons and who would be the Humans. Almost every afternoon, we would take to the woods and battle for the control of Earth, or at least our part of the county in our mock battles.
“I don’t want to be a puny Human,” my little cousin Alfred would say. I want to hit people with sticks and not play with fake Phasers this time. He would emphasize the latter point by stamping his feet, creating little poofs of dust on the dusty creek bank where we would always sort out the teams and then start our games.
It was a fun little game but always a little lopsided in the end, since there would always be more Klingons and not enough Humans to make things very fair. We would end up taking turns being the Humans and taking our whipping with the sticks that the other Klingon kids carried around. Of course, the stick emulated the mighty Bat’Leth that Klingon Warriors loves to wield for melee engagements. Klingons never carried ranged weapons, at least in our games.
I never liked playing the Klingons myself. I preferred to be a Phaser wielding Human and when I decided one day that my one-man army would start using a Phaser Rifle instead of a Phaser Pistol, I had unknowingly leveled the playing field. I introduced my own stick that I could whoop-up on Klingons with – and there were plenty of them around.
One day, one of the uppity cousins named Clement objected. He stated, as if he was reading from some official rules of the game, that the Phaser weapons were ranged weapons and that melee was not allowed. Therefore, I could not hit anyone with stick. Of course, I responded to him with a quick rifle blow to his belly, followed by an uppercut that landed him in the creek and his backside. I then looked down into the muddy water at a very wet Clement. “My energy store is depleted and it’s now a melee weapons. A pretty good one at that,” I replied looking at the stout piece of Hickory branch in my hands. I then made a tactical withdrawal as I ran back to the house before Clement could crawl out of the mud.
After that day, we had just as many Humans as we did Klingons every afternoon and the game got more entertaining. Much to the distress of our parents, the number of received bumps and bruises increased as well.
Of course, this has nothing to do with this story, …much.
After the Starfleet away team moved away from us, I then watched Seeya, Mel and Betty start working their way up the path with their weapons at the ready, in an attempt to follow the withdrawing Starfleet officers. Mel made a quick stop on the edge of the path and looked back in my direction. He motioned with that big melon head of his that I was to follow them. So, I did, stepping quickly out of cover on to the path. I started moving to my shipmate’s location.
As I moved though, I could still hear the female crewmen talking to each other, but they were now out of sight around a bend in the path. Something just felt odd about this whole situation though and I started to scan behind us as I stopped behind Seeya. Yep, this didn’t feel right to me.
Seeya grunted, as he was not the patient type, and I sensed the group moving forward. As we moved slowly up the path, the Captain motioned across the path and both Mel and Bettie crossed over and took position opposite of me and Seeya. Now, as a group, we kept moving forward by twos along the path . We continued moving in the direction that the Starfleet away team headed off in.
I could still hear those two Starfleet female officers talking just ahead of us but something was wrong. The feeling was overpowering and I reached out and tapped Seeya on his back, causing him to stop. Mel and Bettie had already stopped when I looked over, and Mel was staring across the path at me and Seeya.
I looked up at Seeya as I pointed two fingers at my face, then moved my flattened hand up and down in front of my eyes. I then pointed to the curve in the path, and then at myself. Seeya understood that I was volunteering to go have a look around and looked across the path at the pair of Klingons. He then slowly moved one of his hands downward, with his reptilian paw flattened and extended. Mel and Bettie followed the command and both knelt and remained stationary. The Captain then patted me on the head, hissed something in Gorn as he motioned his head in the direction of the turn in the path. Either he was happy with my sudden production of tactical initiative or he was daring me to stick my head around the corner. You never really know what those Gorn are thinking but it’s seldom good and never funny.
I smiled back at him, well it was more of a leer but that’s just like smiling in Gorn. I then started moving forward. As I did, he reached out and lightly grabbed me by the arm. I stopped, and gave him a puzzled look. He smiled as he handed me a very mean looking blade, which I took from him. He then put a single lizard finger up to his mouth, in the universal “be very, very quiet” hand signal. I leered at him again, nodded and turned back towards the path.
This is where the story gets fuzzy.
You see, I don’t recall exactly what happened next as I doubt that I remained conscience very long afterward. So, I am gonna pick up the story right here. Yes, I know it’s an odd way to tell a story but that’s how I am gonna do it. Trust me, I am just as confused.
What I can tell you is that I woke up with a pretty hefty headache and a very solid sore spot on my belly – most likely where I was hit with a stun beam from a Phaser.
One thing that I can tell you for sure though, I wasn’t on that stinking marsh planet anymore. The air here is 100% ship air, it’s cool, clean, fresh and smells like, well…. smells like Starfleet medical.
The sound of a automated door sliding open causes me to look over in its direction. The room lights go to full bright as a couple of figure walk into the room. As I adjust my eyes to the sudden violation and the volume of the screaming banshees in my head – I try to sit up but it’s not going to work, I seem to be strapped down to a table.
I notice a tall man walks towards me while another stands near the door. As the tall man moves closer, instinctively, I look at the collar on his blue shirt and see his rank device. Commander. I then look at his face.
He’s about my age and has a strong jaw and clean shaven. I can see sandy brown hair and his face seems somewhat familiar. Though, I have been away from Starfleet for a few years and certainly the Academy for even longer, I think I know this man. Though, not many Starfleet doctors come to mind as I browse through my fuzzy databanks.
The man reached down and releases my restraints. He then tells me to sit up and hands me a container of clear liquid. “Here, have some water,” he says to me.
“Thank you Doc,” I respond as I raise myself on an elbow. I then drink the water before I can even consider that it might not be water but I really don’t care. I have a powerful thirst and there’s something trusting in the gesture. I drain the container in a few gulps.
As I had back the container to the man, his familiarity seemed overwhelming. “Do I know you Commander? You seem familiar to me, “ I ask.
The man just smiles as he accepts the empty container. He looks me over and shakes his head while doing so. “Has it been that long cousin?” He chuckles. “Raymond Bocheaux, I bet your mama would be proud to see you right now.”
Who’s playing Klingon now? I wonder to myself.